Saab Turbo Club of Norway

A car bursts through the wall and in to the room. That was clever - ah, hang on, the wall has a doorway in it, but it's been papered over. So this is the automotive equivalent of fighting your way out of a paper bag. Still, enough to confuse the driver though, who overshoots his mark and has to reverse back to the centre stage. It's then that I realise he's wearing a pilot's headgear.

This would look pretty cool if he were in the cockpit of a front-line military jet - a Saab Viggen, for example - but in a car, the impression is that he has donned a welding mask and shoved a vacuum cleaner nozzle in his gob.

Why? Because this car is the um, Saab Viggen, a spunked-up 9-3 available in three-door, five-door and cabrio guises and 'the ultimate performance Saab'. The Swedes are milking the aerospace heritage thing again. Never mind that the relationship between Saab cars and Saab aeroplanes is pretty tenuous these days, or that the Viggen is a bit of a steam fighter by modern standards, or even that its engine is built by Volvo - it's this or dwell on the 9-3's relationship with the Vauxhall Cavalier. And nobody wants to be a Vauxhall Cavalier pilot when they grow up.